If you're anxious about returning to school this fall after a year-and-a-half of virtual learning, I'll let you in on a little secret: you are not alone. While you may feel excitement about getting back into the IRL swing of things, it can be daunting to think about flexing those out-of-use social muscles and being face to face with people again after such a long time. That's why we put together the perfect social cheat that will help you make new friends in high school, college, or anywhere in between. After you read these, you'll be more than ready to step out from behind the screen, grab your backpack, and head to school where your new friends will be waiting for you.
1. Find people with similar interests.
You can't expect people to come up to you and ask you to be their new best friend, but you can put yourself in situations where meeting people is more natural. Start by getting involved in the activities and interests you already love, like student council or a sports team. That way, you already know the other people there share the same interests as you and you have a perfect jumping off point for a conversation.
2. Keep an open mind.
That being said, Just because someone doesn't obsess over BTS the way you do doesn't mean you can't be friends. Keep an open mind when it comes to making potential new friends. Sometimes it's good to have different interests than your friends. How else are you supposed to hear about new books, movies and TV shows? If you hang out with clones of you 24/7, you'll never escape a bubble, so don't write off a potential new friend too quickly.
3. Start slowly.
If you were seriously crushing on someone, would you run up to them, call them your bae, and insist you start spending every second together? Um, I don’t think so (or at least I’d advise against it). The same goes for making friends: you want to take things slowly at first. Wait until you feel comfortable talking to each other during band practice or on the walk home from the library before you suggest getting somewhere else. Skip high-pressure or potentially awkward situations, like a family dinner. Opt for something casual: "So, have you seen the new Zendaya movie? I thought it'd be fun to get a bunch of people together to go." Will it be totally nerve-wracking to make the first move? Probably, but it'll be worth it once the ice is broken and you're out having fun with your new friends.
4. Get to know people in your dorm.
This one is for my college freshman. There's a chance you might be living in a community-style dorm this fall, which is a great place to meet new people because everyone is in the same exact situation, trying to make new friends. That means, your new classmates will be so happy for someone to make the first move and say, invite them over for a study sesh.
In dorms, you'll also soon realize that people are almost always in the lobby. So, make sure you step outside of your room and mingle with others on your floor. Your resident assistant (or RA) may also set up some team building group activities in order get people to bond. While these might seem cheesy, they're popular for a reason: because they work! Try going to at least one or two before you completely write them off. It only takes a little effort to get to know people in your dorm, so just go for it.
And if you aren't living in a dorm this year. don't worry. Often, schools will have special orientations or ways to bond commuter students and help them get acclimated as well. Again, while these programs might seem lame AF, they're actually a great place to meet new people and chances are everyone there is looking for a new friend too.
5. Take advantage of study sessions.
In college, and especially freshman year, you may find yourself in some really big classes, meaning the odds are in your favor that there is somewhere there who wants to study for a test with you. Chat with those sitting next to you while you wait for the professor to arrive or as you're packing up your things after class. Try suggesting an impromptu study session with snacks. Chances are, your seatmate will be just as nervous for their first big college exam as you are. Before you know it, you'll have a weekly study group in place!
6. Start conversations everywhere you go.
Keep this one in mind as you walk around school. In the cafeteria, start a conversation with the person next to you. If you see someone familiar in the quad, ask them,"Hey, aren't you in my English class? What are you thinking of the book we're reading?" Ask questions to the person sitting next to you in class. Just don't be afraid to let go of any insecurities and talk to people. All you have to do is break the ice, and you'll find that making friends is a lot easier with a conversation starter.
7. Be yourself.
You may think that you need to act a certain way for people to like you, but in reality, most people appreciate authenticity more than anything else. If someone doesn't like you for you, they shouldn't be your friend anyway. Besides, you'll have way more fun with the people you can be yourself around.
8. Invite movie night.
Unleash your inner event planner and put together a casual hangout for all your new friends. Order pizza and have some of your classmates over for a cram sesh before the first big test. Or, find your fellow Riverdale fans and invite them over for the midseason premiere. Once planning hang outs, it will inspire others to do the same and you will have more invitations than you know what to do with.
9. Use your network.
Chances are, you may have a friend who has a friend who is going to the same college as you. While you don't have to be attached at the hip to this person, they could help you when it comes to making friends. Maybe they know other people at the school they can introduce you too. Or, they can just be someone to head to your first party with, so you have a lifeline when you go to make new friends. Networking isn't just for getting jobs, it can also help when it comes to creating new relationships.
10. Make the effort.
Meeting people is just step one, but fostering relationships is a little bit harder. Once you meet someone you vibe with, make sure to get their number or social media handle and continue to stay in touch with them. Invite them to hang out or go to a movie. The more time you spend with them, the closer you will get.
Carolyn Twersky is an associate editor for Seventeen covering celebrities, entertainment, politics, trends, and health. On her off time, she's probably watching Ru Paul's Drag Race, traversing NYC for the best donuts, or, most likely, enjoying time in her favorite place in the world: her bed.
